Make space for an honest stay conversation

Ask what is working, listen for what could improve, and close the loop.

At fictional Northstar Works, managers use a stay conversation to understand what is working for an employee and what could make the experience better. Explain why you are meeting and make clear that the employee can choose what to share. Listen first, explore one useful change, and agree how you will follow up.

This is a conversation aid, not a promise that every request can be granted. Be clear about what you can take forward and what needs another decision-maker or more information.

Four moves for a useful conversation

  1. 1

    Invite participation

    Explain the purpose and ask what would make the conversation useful. Make clear the employee can choose what to share.

  2. 2

    Ask and listen

    Use open questions about what is working and what gets in the way. Pause, listen, and ask for a specific example before offering solutions.

  3. 3

    Explore a feasible change

    Ask what difference a change would make. Separate actions you can take from requests that need another decision-maker or more information.

  4. 4

    Close the loop

    Summarize what you heard, agree the next action or conversation, and explain how you will update the employee if an answer is pending.

An illustrative 30-minute conversation

  1. Purpose and choice

    Explain the purpose and ask what the employee would like to focus on.

  2. Experience

    Ask what is working well and what has been harder than it needs to be; listen for examples.

  3. Possible change

    Explore one improvement and what would need to be true to try it.

  4. Summary and follow-up

    Agree an action or next conversation and how the employee will receive an update. This example pacing is adaptable, not a required schedule.

Make the follow-up clear

A request may need review beyond the manager's authority.

Name the action you can take and when you will take it.

Identify any request that needs another decision-maker or more information.

Tell the employee when and how you will update them, including when an answer is still pending.